Friday, February 12, 2010

Day 14--Season for Nonviolence--Humility

[From The Season for Nonviolence, 64 Ways in 64 Days pamphlet]
"Feb. 12 HUMILITY Making mistakes is part of learning and growing. Freely acknowledge at least one mistake you make today, and reflect for a few minutes on what you have learned."

Okay, I took a bath and thought about this one. Although it was a great day, like any day, I made several mistakes (because I'm human, not because I'm sort of f***-up, although there's that Today's doozy was probably trying to control one of my immediate family member's behavior in advance for the weekend.

Upon reflection, I realized that I did this because I was feeling powerless over the pain in my back, and my lack of ability to control another family member. I felt empty and I somehow unconsciously thought that by controlling the more controllable family I would reach equilibrium.

I didn't. It made things worse in my back and in my family (it really affected the whole unit as I tried to pull others into it too). As I saw it, I went in to talk to the person I was trying to control, apologized to him, told him how I was a heel and asked for his forgiveness. I placed my trust in him to do the right thing this weekend. I feel a lot better and I imagine he does too.

Today I am grateful that I'm examining the ways to be more nonviolent.

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