o
Pick an activity you’re already doing and do it
mindfully. It really doesn’t matter what
that is.
o
A great one can simply be walking or driving
the children to school. Set that as a
meditation time.
o
While you are doing it, when you notice your
mind going to your to do list, or a worry, or something like that, just notice
that and label where your thoughts have been aloud (or under your breath) like:
Planning, Future, Past, Worry.
o
And then come back to the present moment. Notice any feelings that come up. Are you judging yourself for not being able
to present? Notice that. Are you feeling
anxious because you think you need to be somewhere else, doing something
else? Notice that. Are you grateful for your 3 year old shouting
“daffodil!” as he points at one?
o
Make a deal with your co-parent (if you’re
lucky enough to have one) to wake up and go straight to meditation. If you have a separate room, even a bathroom
that you can do it in. Do that. Even 5 minutes a day makes a difference. If you don’t have a separate space, just ear
buds and a smart phone and click on a recording gives space in a chaotic
room. I can recommend specific
recordings.
o
Teach your children to do meditation with
you. If your children are under 10, you
may be able to all learn how to meditate together. Children naturally love meditation.
o
Consider using a recorded meditation to transition
from last story to sleep. Put one on
that everyone involved in bedtime can hear and then cuddle in. Let it run for 5-20 minutes. If you need to be able to sneak out, have the
device you use be an ancient CD player or something you can leave in the room.
o
You could do the same thing early in the morning. If the kids are prone to sneaking into your
bed before dawn, slip in 1 ear bud in your ear, another in the kids and snuggle
in to meditate.
o
Another time might be just after school. Have a snack, meditate and then play. It will re-set everyone
o
Be patient and loving with yourself no matter
what happens. That is part of the
meditation experience. It takes time to
build a practice.
o
Get some other parent (not in your household)
to do this with you. Tell each other the
truth each day by a quick text or check-in at the playground. Here’s what I did. Here’s what I didn’t do. Here’s what I intend to do to support myself
to do this tomorrow.
o
Set a goal of meditating 20-40 days
straight. Social science shows that
around that amount of time is required to create a new habit. It must literally be every day, not just most
days, in order to establish the habit.
Don’t beat up on yourself if you miss a day, but don’t say that it “counts”
toward the days straight. It doesn’t. Start again.
Until I do any new thing 30 days straight, it wont be part of my life.
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