Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Sitting alone in a room

For 3 weeks now, I have meditated alone in a beautiful room in the state capitol and it's been okay.

The reader naturally will have two questions, the first is necessary for understanding, the second is the subject of this piece: 1) why are you alone in the room? 2) why is it okay?

I am alone in the room because no one has attended the first three meetings of a new spiritual support group that I started in the capitol building October 5th. It meets Fridays from 1:30 to 2:30pm in Room 125 of the State Capitol, downtown Sacramento.

I started the group with the encouragement of several advisers, most importantly God. I am publicizing the meeting through the Capitol Morning Report and some emails to people I think would be interested. Several people have emailed, called or stopped me to say that they're interested in attending for meditation, reading, prayer and sharing, but none have come yet.

The more interesting fact (for me) is that it's completely okay. Room 125 is incredibly beautiful. I am so lucky that the room has been set aside for this purpose. I am so lucky that I get to sit in it every week (and I am committed to continue to do it for at least 6 months). I have had wonderful meditations in there--surprisingly, given the number of boondoggles that have probably been hatched in that very space, the room has a great feel, great energy as we say on the left coast. I have felt that the time is very privileged, very precious.

The main thing is that something in me has shifted. Two years ago, I could not have done this. I would have been filled with anxiety and resentment at sitting in an empty room. The demons would have control of the room: where are your friends? what could you have been thinking? what kind of an idiot sits alone in a room? what if someone sees you? what if someone blogs about you being in this room? what does this say about you?

And now, I simply don't care. Think of all things that have to be true to allow this to happen: I have time and money to do this. I have the room. I have my health. I have the ability to sit still. And most importantly, I have a cell phone.

Life is good.

ps If you come this friday, you'll get to sit alone too. I'll be in Austin, TX for a wedding.

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