Monday, March 07, 2005

Change snuck up on snichols
Lately snichols has realized that she's genuinely changed since she quit her more gainful employment some two and half years ago. She moves slower; she's less excitable; she likes to be alone more.

Prior to "retirement," snichols was in almost constant motion. She got her first job at 15. After that she worked evenings, weekends, any time she wasn't working she was rehearsing for a play or studying. The same in college, pretty much. And after college, work, law school, more work. It really never occurred to her to do otherwise.

Throughout it all, when she played, she played hard: drinking and dancing when she wasn't powering through novels or watching soaps (her not-so-dirty little secret).

With it came a high gear personality suited to the work: snap decisions, snappy answers, quick to anger, quick to forgive. snichols was before there were dots and orgs.

Now she meditates every day. She is thankful for such things as children's handprints on glass doors. She spends large portions of her day talking to no one. She watches very little broadcast television; listens to almost no music. She reads almost exclusively non-fiction, mostly philosophy or spiritual in nature, but still follows politics.

snichols no longer constantly craves wild social abandon. snichols no longer panics at stretches of time by herself, indeed, she welcomes them. snichols is slow to anger, and oddly slower to forgive. When she forgives, she does it better, more meaningfully.

In short, snichols has completely changed her life.

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