Happy Birthday to Me (Mostly today only, not all month long anymore)

All Month All About Me Birthday Sara

It was not that long ago that I considered my birthday to be a virtually monthlong event.  Longer in some ways if you included the time I was talking about it.  During this period, I needed a big party.  I needed presents.  I needed attention.  I had expectations.  They were never met.  I would feel disappointed.  I would never somehow feel that I had been properly celebrated.  

Mostly just the day of Birthday Sara

Over the past few years, this need to be properly celebrated has diminished just a bit.  Don't get me wrong, I still talk about my birthday a bit.  I still want presents from my husband and children.  I even make a little google doc with suggestions to make it easier (but that also makes it less likely that I'll be disappointed).  

I still like there to be a family celebration and I still love a good excuse for a party.  What's different though is that I don't NEED it very much.  I don't need it other than right around the real day.  And I don't need it to be all about me.  For example, this year, we are taking some friends to the Women's Empowerment Gala Dinner which happens to be tonight, which happens to be my birthday.  We're going out in honor of my birthday but we're there to help raise money for this wonderful organization that has helped transitioned women out of homelessness.  They are the star attraction, very much not me.  

What makes this evolution possible, it strikes me, is that I now get my needs met year round.  I do not overdo for others as much.  I do not postpone my own down time or fun or play.  So I don't need to cram all sorts of things into a month anymore.   I also am not craving attention because a) I get a lot of attention in my job and my family life and b) I no longer really expect other people to make me feel okay.

These smaller, sweeter birthdays are really so much more fulfilling than the blowout birthday extravaganzas of yesteryear.  I am grateful for another year of life, another day of life.