Thursday, May 25, 2006

Clinton and McCain--Through the Looking Glass

I can't be the only one who has noticed the unpleasant parallels between Hillary Clinton and John McCain's candidacies for president, all of which spell doom for Democrats (which is kind of like cuckoo for Cocoapuffs, but less sweet).

Actually I miswrite when I call them "parallels." These eerie resemblances between the candidates show up more like a funhouse mirror reflection of each other than anything else.

First (and probably most significant) distorted resemblance: Hillary is a centrist (whom most of the country mistakes for a feminazi) while McCain is a maverick conservative (whom most of the country mistakes for a centrist).

Second distorted resemblance: Hillary is highly likely to win to her party's nomination despite her recent pandering to social conservatives while McCain will have to fight to win his party's nomination despite his recent pandering to social conservatives.

Third eerie resemblance (which itself strangely resembles #1): due to eerie resemblance #1, if Hillary wins the nomination (no matter who is the Republican nominee), all her pandering to the right will have been for naught and she will go down in flames as the poster child for limousine liberals. Due to resemblance #2, in the unlikely event that McCain wins the nomination, he wins the Presidency easily owing a lot to social conservatives, with whom he has consistently voted (adopted black children notwithstanding) and governs accordingly.

D-O-O-M for Democrats no matter how you spell it--S O S!!!

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