30 Consecutive Days Inside the Financial Abundance Vortex

I just emerged from 30 consecutive days inside the Abraham Hicks financial abundance vortex, wanna hear about it? 

First of all, you ask, what is it?  Who is Abraham Hicks, and what is the vortex and like that?

I'm sorry I prompted you to ask me that because I don't know much.  The Hicks, Jerry and Esther, have made a living for some time, popularized in the movie The Law of Attraction, by channelling someone named Abraham.  Maybe that Abraham.  Maybe not.  First it was Jerry and then Jerry died and now it is Esther channelling Abraham.  

The Vortex is what "Abraham" calls connection with source energy.

The meditation is this:

A friend a few years ago told me that every time she feels constricted financially or in anyway, she does this meditation for 30 consecutive days.  By day 12, something shifts.  It has to be consecutive.  It doesn't work if you stop and start.  Don't know why.  This has been my experience too.  Exactly that.  This is like my fourth time all 30 days through.  It's always a big lift.

The meditation teaches, and creates an experience in action of, the same principle that we know from Science of Mind; in order to manifest abundance, you must feel as if you already have manifested it, and then it will come.

In this month I have had a lot of fun, been a part beneficiary to a substantial check that I was not expecting, blogged also for 30 days straight (well in 2 more days I will have), received over 1000 more followers on Twitter and taken a fabulous vacation in Baja California with my husband.  Mostly though, I've felt really in love with myself and with life.

How does it get any better than this and what else is possible?

The Myth of the Master Bath

I grew up in a lovely middle class home without a master bath.  My husband grew up in a lovely middle class home without a master bath.  Our children grew up in a lovely middle class home without a master bath.  None of us seem to have needed dialectical behavioral therapy to get over the trauma incurred.  

Yet, the belief today is that if you sell your well-situated beautiful home without a large bathroom that can be entered only through the master bedroom, you are dooming the buyer to a massively expensive remodel because the situation is intolerable.  Indeed, the current standard is that there is one bathroom for every bedroom, preferably accessible only through that bedroom.  This is received wisdom in the world of real estate.

Will someone please tell me when, why and how did this become an American norm?

Am I alone in not only not needing a master bath but actually not preferring one?  My husband and I, who don't have a master bath at home, just spent a week in a vacation home with one.  Every night, if we needed to get up and use the bathroom, we left the bedroom and headed to the nearest other bathroom.  Why?  It is loud to have someone using a bathroom right off the bedroom.  It seems more considerate to take our business elsewhere.

Likewise, while I did find it crucial to have more than one bathroom in raising children, I find it wasteful and perhaps dangerous for each child to have their own baths.  Too much privacy can be a dangerous thing for teenagers.  And a sibling pounding on the bathroom door is a good check on over elaborate beauty preparations.

That is all.

My Do's and Don'ts from Vacationing in Los Cabos/La Paz Baja California Region

I'd like to remember what worked best on this, my third trip to the Los Cabos region of Baja California.  

Do's:

• If you live in Northern California, catch a nonstop flight on Southwest Airlines direct to Los Cabos International Airport (SJD)--2 and a half hours and it's 20 degrees warmer and you're surrounded by gorgeous coastline, like everywhere.

• Rent a car and waive every single insurance thing (but then put the card on Amex or some credit card that provides insurance).  We got our Nissan for $54 a week.

• Go to La Paz.  I've been to Cabo San Lucas three times now and La Paz twice (but once was in like 1977 when it was a sleepy fishing village).  Now its a bustling ecotourism destination with a LOT to offer.  For us it offered this this week that I recommend:
• AirBNB beach house with private beach and private pool and private kayaks--stunning!!!
• Las Tres Virgines Restaurant--best meal of the trip.  Every single bite memorable.  Grilled corn, seafood tostada and most of all freshest possible whole grilled red snapper --just the most subtle, moist and flavorable fish of my life.  Whole meal in a fancy high end restaurant for two including drinks $50.
• Anzuel Restaurant -- second best food of the trip and that's saying a lot--best seafood tacos ever and lovely view of marina
• Walk on the Malecon (that's the first thing everyone will tell you)--3 kilometer long stunning boardwalk -- walkable bikeable super skateable (anyone with any interest in skating or skateboarding should totally bring their stuff)
• If in Cabo San Lucas

• Go to the massage tents on Medano Beach.  $40 for full hour high quality massage in a tent with breeze on the beach.  Or go to Hoboken Nail Salon and get a full hour massage for $10 in a cheap back room.
• Get your nails done at Hoboken Nail Salon
• Eat seafood at Las Tres Islas.  OMG.  Delicious.  Beautiful indoor outdoor space just back from main drag.  Affordable
• Eat at Pollo de Oro--delicious
• Go to the free Mt Santos guided hike to the top of the undeveloped hill at the "end of the world" -- get to the gates across from the Naval Station at whatever time is posted on trip advisor.  Usually twice a day.  This is a unique point in the world.  Next land mass south of there is Antarctica
• Pay for a kayak snorkeling trip to the Arch.  Such a great way to see and do that stretch.
• Unless you are an alcoholic in recovery, go on a whale viewing booze cruise.  If its winter you WILL see lots of whales and you do get a LOT of booze for the money. I don't really drink alcohol but I drank copious diet coke and was very happy with the whales!

Don'ts:

• Don't stay at an all inclusive resort.  They all talk about all inclusive this and that.  Don't do it.  We did it last time.  You're then trapped in the resort because you paid for everything and there's lots of other places to go and things to see (and it's so easy to drive down here, not a big deal).
• Don't eat lunch or dinner at a tourist trap on the beach --have a drink, walk around, have breakfast.
• Don't go on a cruise ship.  Big polluters and gross.
• Don't stress if its your first time to Mexico.  Driving is easy.  Everyone who deals with tourists speaks good English.  Customs and immigration is a breeze.

Counterintuitive Advice: If you want to Engage Volunteers, Consider Asking for More Not Less, Making it Harder not Easier to Participate

Particularly in community volunteer settings such as churches and schools, it is common to basically beg for people to get people involved.  The general tone of the request is apologetic and pleading.  "We just need..."  "If you could only sign up for..."  "All we are asking is..."  After a lifetime of studying and living this dynamic, I am finally surrendered to counterintuitive reality:  if you want somebody to do something, ask for more not less.  Make it harder, not easier for them to participate.

As a pastor of a small church, I definitely witnessed this phenomenon close at hand in at least two significant ways:

1) In annual reflection and check-in meetings, the volunteers who were the happiest with the church were ALWAYS those who were most involved.  The ones who were on the margins had the most complaints.  Although I didn't scientifically study it, it seemed that their happiness was caused by the higher participation not that they chose to participate more because they were happy (and vice versa--the people who had been neutral before drifting into low participation seemed to find themselves less and less happy with the community as their participation decreased).

2)  A second example of this revealed itself when we hired a someone to coach us how to set up intimate care circles in the community.  To get into a circle, he recommended that you had to 

• sign up to try one out
• fill out an application
• be interviewed 
• make the following commitments
• to go to every meeting
• for a full year
• to follow all the other guidelines in the meeting
• and if and when you leave, to go through a process for leaving

Even though we had compensated the consultant abundantly (in our terms) for teaching us how to do this, some of us balked at all these barriers to entry.  "We don't want to scare people away;" "that is too hard;" and "we're a caring and loving community" reflect the essence of the concerns.  Because we paid him, we chose to take his advice (and another example perhaps of this principle in action).  When we did, the result was astounding.  We had more sign-ups and applications than we could admit.  It was by far the most successful recruitment effort we had while I was there.

I suspected this would be true because years before I had been a Kindergarten teacher at another church where being a Sunday school teacher was a huge commitment. At many of the centers or churches I work with now, the community norm is you take whatever you can get. You assume that people are too busy to do it weekly. You ask can they maybe do it one Sunday a month. When they do volunteer, you require very little of them in terms of training or prep. All you want is a live, preferably vetted, adult in the room with them. Very few people volunteer. This reinforces an idea that people don't have time. You ratchet down expectations even further.  Rinse. Repeat.  

In contrast, at my old church it was a HUGE commitment to be a Sunday School Teacher. To do it you gave up all opportunity to be in a Sunday service live. You worked with one or two other teachers. The three of you had to meet weekly to plan lessons and monthly with your supervising teacher.  The supervising teachers met periodically with the program leader.  This kind of structure is very common in large successful churches and there's a reason for that. We all three found it to be a wonderful experience.  We loved our meetings and planning. We loved being with the kids.  It's cliché but we all felt we received far more than we gave.  It was an absolutely delightful time. 

This has been SO hard for me to accept despite mountains of evidence that it works.  In college, I studied and even wrote my undergraduate thesis on the psychology of cognitive dissonance.    The theory, studied and proven in various ways, is that when people are asked to make a significant commitment of some kind, whether it is paying a lot of money for something, going through a rigorous application process or simply donating a great deal of their time and energy, they HAVE to rationalize why they are doing what they are doing.  If we don't rationalize (or "reduce dissonance") we may find ourselves believing we have wasted a great deal of money and time which is profoundly uncomfortable.

  

The MORE we are asked to do/pay/go through, the more highly we consider the experience, whatever it is.  Sometimes, even if we do not enjoy the experience itself, we still value it very highly in retrospect.  This has certainly been found with many combat veterans.  They gave a great deal, maybe even witnessed or experienced hell, and they value that time and their comrades in arms immensely.

The biggest obstacles to integrating this wisdom into volunteer-driven communities boils down to, as illustrated above:

• Many such communities are highly egalitarian and have a strong value against any barrier to entry EVEN if it results in more members and a better community.
• This can be particularly true the more tolerant and inclusive a community perceives themselves to be.  Obviously there are grossly unfair barriers in the world that one would never want to use such as gender, race and cultural barriers.  And there are also barriers that may seem neutral which can disproportionately function to exclude along similar lines.  
• It can be emotionally challenging for a community to find its way to real criteria that strengthen a community and can encourage inclusivity even as they make it harder rather than easier to join.  

I'm sure there are a lot of people out there that have thought through this conundrum more than I have.  I would love to hear from you.  Where have you seen loving, fair and functionally inclusive criteria that have bolstered participation and up-leveled communities?

Bernie Sanders is the One who "lives in the real world": "reality vs. fantasy is a false narrative in the Presidential Race: failure vs. vision is more accurate

One dominant narrative in this current political race and last night's debate is this idea that some of the candidates live in the "real" world where you make compromises to get things done because "you know how to work with Republicans and they don't" and then there's Bernie who lives in a fantasy of Medicare and free public colleges & preschool for--which we "can't afford and don't have the support for even in the Democratic party."  This narrative persists because it sounds really plausible.  It has, as the fake Stephen Colbert once coined, "truthiness," which is the ring of truth without actually being true.  

This is actually a false choice.  As one experienced political observer put it, "both these options seem unlikely to me in the current political climate.  Only there's a big difference.  I know for a fact that the "real world" option doesn't exist.  There is absolutely no compromise on healthcare or climate change that today's Republicans would agree to. This is the true fantasy.  There are not things that would get done if Democrats would only reach across the proverbial aisle.   They have reached repeatedly and there are no hands outstretched.  Trying and failing to work with Republicans typified the Obama era.  Do we really want to go back to that?  The other option of a creating political revolution across the country which elects Bernie Sanders along with a new majority seems equally implausible but unlike the bipartisan option it hasn't repeatedly been tried.  This interests me and has my attention."

As I laid out a couple of days ago, Bernie Sanders is a Leader not a Candidate, Bernie Sanders is not a typical politician in any way.  His relentless, energetic campaign for his vision of a caring, just America has already completely changed the parameters of what is discussed, if not possible, in this country.  He is a visionary leader while every single other person still in the race is a politician and candidate.    Bernie is the one setting the goals and the others are pretending they have they a smart way to achieve those goals.  They don't. 

Taking a Break from the Golden Age of Television

I got the idea for a vacation from Netflix when our daughter threw up her hands across her ears at my starting to tell her some of my new favorite series.  "No!" she said.  "I can't get into something new!  I just can't." 

Anyone else suffering from "Golden Age of Television" fatigue?   I am.  It's not that I'm sick of the original shows developed by streaming networks they are still wonderful.  I've enjoyed Mrs. Maisel and Catastrophe on Prime and Orange is the New Black, Lovesick (formerly Scrotal Recall), GLOW, Russian Doll, Master of None, Peaky Blinders, The Crown, Grace and Frankie, Gilmore Girls and Arrested Development on Netflix.  Plus loads of other network shows that I've binge-watched on Netflix like Grey's Anatomy (all 16 seasons in 18 months baby and I am now qualified to perform surgery and be useful in any number of freak accidents) and the Good Place.  

This is not a place to review the merits of these shows.  They are all great and that's why I watched them all.  The problem is not the shows.  It's me and my life.  I don't know.  I kinda pictured myself being something other than a binge TV watcher when I grew up.  And, mostly, I am spending WAY too little time reading.  

I'm not much for New Year's resolutions (how are yours going, btw?) but on December 30th I set a goal of watching no television series for 30 consecutive days.  Being a lawyer by training, I created some loopholes immediately.  I can watch movies and specials.  I cannot watch video content of any kind alone.  I cannot spend my evening watching video content of any kind more than every other night.  The rationale for that is I'm trying to avoid giving myself over to another show.  

So far, I have even broken some of these guidelines.  I decided that if I was watching with my husband I could watch even a series, just not more than every other night.  I also decided that if I was sick I could watch whatever I wanted.  After I decided that I got sick for several days straight.

However the new cruelty DOES seem to be causing me to return to lots more reading.  I am going through books at more like a rate of 2 a week than 1 a month.  And I'm even alternating in nonfiction and meatier books, not just brain candy.  What's your story?

Bernie Sanders is a Leader not a Candidate

The biggest difference between Bernie Sanders and the others in the Democratic primary for President of the United States is that Bernie is a leader and the rest are candidates.  A leader is here to change what is possible, not because they want to live in the White House.  A leader stays focused on what they came to do and doesn't get distracted by nonsense.

A candidate is here because they want to be president.  A candidate will take positions and say and do things because those things seem to lead them to win the office.  The entire focus of their existence is on winning, not on leading, so if they perceive it to be to their advantage to lie or obfuscate, we know that they will.  A candidate can be a formidable opponent because their own internal compass may not be a check on this desire or condition.  

A leader can also be unstoppable when they have a movement behind them.  When that movement expands exponentially daily and brings more and more people into the election, the momentum towards victory is extraordinary.

As members of the movement that is backing Bernie Sanders, we are blessed with a leader who is focussed on what brought him here.  His winning will be our winning.  His victory will be the victory of every woman who needs guaranteed healthcare, every person working multiple jobs to try to keep a family afloat, every student drowning in debt, every refugee from a hurricane, fire or flood exacerbated by climate change.  

We must all model ourselves on Bernie Sanders in these next few months.  We must stay focused on Medicare for All, $15 an hour, wiping out student debt and dramatically decreasing greenhouse gas emissions.   The attacks are here.  Fear of real change is fueling them. We cannot let ourselves be distracted by nonsense.

Graduate Level Spirituality: Coming to grips with an E.L.F.

Warning:  this particular post is graduate level spirituality.  Do not advise going directly from feeling resentful and victimized towards everyone every minute of your life without ever doing your own work to now labelling people "ELFs." 

After years spent learning its me in the mirror and if you spot it you got it, I am finally coming to grips with what Access Consciousness founder Gary Douglas calls an E.L.F. (or Evil Little F***).    This is both HARD and important for me to get.  Yes, the only person I can control is me.  Yes, if I have a problem with someone and strong feelings about it, it is MY consciousness that I need to work on, not theirs.  And NO, that does not mean that they are a wonderful person with good intentions or that I have to hang around them. 

In other words, sometimes my feelings, which are always pointing in the direction of my healing, are pointing to "get the heck away from this person."  I am only beginning to realize, after years of seeing where I've been dishonest, selfish, fearful or self-seeking and then forgiving and making amends for my behavior, that I ALSO need to stop putting myself in harm's way.  There are people in my life who behave like Evil Little F**ks.  That does not mean that they are inherently evil or irredeemable.  But it doesn't mean I need to keep giving them chances to hurt me.  

For years I had a mentor who undermined or failed to support me at every turn.  They openly resented me and felt threatened by me.  They attempted to sabotage my career numerous times.  I did my spiritual work around this numerous times and even made amends to them for what really were my legitimate failings in our relationship.  Now I realize that they're an E.L.F. in my life.  Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to them.  Their elvin behavior has played a role in my spiritual awakening.  Just as the Dalai Lama refers to Chairman Mao as his greatest spiritual teacher, they have been one of mine.  

Recognizing that person as an E.L.F. is a huge spiritual development for me because now I can complete that soul contract and move on.  Thank you, you evil little f**k for awakening me to my greater magnificence.  I no longer choose to put myself in harm's way.  I no longer choose to let you OR ANYONE LIKE YOU hurt me.  I free myself of this and all related social/soul contracts!

More about ELFs Frenemies and Rattlesnakes

Are you willing to believe that there's no difference between the political and the spiritual?

How much are your limited thoughts, beliefs, opinions and conclusions driving your view of what is possible in the 2020 presidential election? Whether you feel hate or suspicion towards certain candidates or parties or the entire government or are convinced that only one candidate will possibly do, what else is truly possible? Everywhere that I'm convinced that the spiritual and the political are two different realms and never the two shall meet, I am separating myself from other people and other possibilities. I am putting myself outside of the only real truth there is. The one heart, mind and love that lives out its perfect life as us. These clearings are designed to bring us back to oneness and wholeness with even politics.

In this video, I am clearing limiting beliefs about the 2020 US election. I am using Spiritual Mind Treatment from Science of Mind and incorporating words and concepts from Access Consciousness loosely and incorporating the clearing statement. I am an ordained minister in the Centers for Spiritual Living.

Prior to becoming a minister I spent the better part of 20 years as a lawyer and legislative advocate for unions and consumer groups advocating single payer Medicare for All.

I am the Spiritual Director of All is Well Institute, a ministry that teaches and supports people in healing themselves from chronic pain and chronic physical illness using spiritual tools. Through All is Well Institute, I lead webinars, classes, care circles and healing sessions. Contact InfoAllisWellInstitute@gmail.com for more information. Or go to www.facebook.com/alliswellinstitute/In this short video, I employ a technique to clear your limiting beliefs about family in the holidays.

"Spiritual Mind Treatment" is taught by Centers for Spiritual Living & here I incorporate language & concepts from Access Consciousness and the Clearing Statement.

Beating the Winter Blahs

George Hamilton Tanning

I like to think that I don't get the winter blahs but what would I know?  I spent the first 18 years of my life in San Diego and the most recent 21 of them in Sacramento (which actually often clocks more sunshine than San Diego due to the absence of coastal fog).  In between I did 4 years in Portland, OR, 3 in Buffalo, NY and 9 in Washington, DC.  

My freshman year of college in Portland I counted 48 consecutive days of major rain which unfortunately coincided with some reading of Sylvia Plath.  By day 39 I remember dressing in black a lot and pressing my face up against windows.  This wasn't anything I'd ever really been led to do in San Diego.  Sometimes I went to the beach really late in the day though to avoid a sunburn (heresy in a time of George Hamilton and Doonsbury's Zonker's tanning obsession).  

My first year in Buffalo was record snowfall for a December.  I'll just let that sink in.  Buffalo.  Snowfall.  Record.  December.  One of my law school exams was held on a day where it literally took me one hour to drive the three miles to campus.  I could see about an inch ahead of me.  No one considered cancelling.

In San Diego I remember a frequent television news segment "tips for driving in the rain."  One helpful hint was to "turn on your wipers." As Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up. 

So suffice it to say, while I've been through some legit winter long ago, for the past 22 years, especially with the frequent droughts, there's been precious little to try my skills at beating the winter blahs.  This winter, the winter of 2019-2020, has been, by Sacramento standards, cold, wet and overcast.  With the rain, the Tule fog of the Sacramento Valley has returned some and even a couple of days of it takes its toll.

Some things that help, other than re-discovering windshield wipers and defrost settings, are lots of exercise, especially on the blah-ist days.  And over 1000 milligrams of Vitamin D.  Some of you are going to write to me and debunk everything I think I know about the ability of Vitamin D to prevent cancer and end Seasonal Affective Disorder, but I believe in it and I feel better when I take it large doses.

You know what else makes me feel better?  Getting the hell out of dodge.  We're doing it tomorrow.  Heading south to Cabo San Lucas and La Paz at the tip of Baja, California, baby  No Cabo Wabo for us, just lying in the sun, swimming, walking and cheap massages on the beach.  The very best way to get the Vitamin D, and maybe a little tan.

Tips for How to Make Your Choices, Small or Large

A free abundant life comes with many many choices, everything from whether to call yourself vegan, plant-based or reducetarian to what job to accept and where to live can be frought if you don't have a system for making those choices.  I have never perceived myself as having trouble making decisions.  When I was much younger I unconsciously arranged things so that events seem to be making my choices rather than I.  I would sell my qualities to multiple prospective employers and lovers simultaneously without putting much thought into which I actually wanted.  I left them to sort out whether they wanted me and then if I still had a choice to make, I awkwardly made it (or didn't, which could be even more awkward).

Since I started consciously (instead of unconsciously) creating my experience I have evolved some methods for deciding what comes next for me.  Here are some of the ones I use (none of which are original to me.  I borrowed them all from others, many of them from one particular person).  Perhaps I'll flesh one or two out more in subsequent posts.  Feel free to ask me questions:

1. These days I try to concentrate on a feeling that I want to have in a given area rather than what will deliver that feeling.
2. Then I spend time each day sitting and imagining what that feeling is that I want, spending time feeling it right now instead of waiting for something to change to give it to me.
3. When a choice comes up, I'll put my hand on my chest and I'll feel into it.  What does that choice feel like?  If it matches the feeling I want to have, I might choose it even if I don't understand why or how it will lead me in the direction.
4. If I have trouble dialing into the feeling of it, I sometimes picture a candle flame burning brightly in my chest.  When I picture the decision I look at the candle flame.  Does the idea of making that choice make the flame burn brighter and stronger?  or does it make it flicker or even blow out?
5. Sometimes I tear up a bunch of pieces of paper and write on the back of each one a choice I am considered and them turn them over and shuffle them up.  I spread them out on the floor and I put my hand over each one and feel how it is.  Does it feel light and spacious? that's a yes.  or does it feel heavy and stuck? that's a no.
6. I could definitely write a whole post on how heavy and stuck used to be something I would gravitate to while I now run from it.

Action is not that important, but choosing is.  Often it matters less what I choose than that I choose.

What's your method of making decisions?  

We Need a President we can Trust

As the mainstream media realizes that Bernie Sanders not only isn't going anywhere but is the most likely candidate to win the Democratic nomination for President (CNN: Bernie Sanders Could Actually Win This Thing), its time to flag the issue of trust.  Much has been made of Bernie's progressive agenda (all of which I agree with): Medicare for All, eliminate college debt, Green New Deal, $15 an hour minimum wage.  And many people DO understand that these kitchen table issues cross party lines.  Everyone needs health care.  Most people want their kids to be able to go to college if they want to.  Many people breathe the air, drink water and have noticed the increase of devastating weather events.  Many people welcome more money in their paycheck.  So that's been covered.

What hasn't been covered as much is the issue of trust.  Bernie Sanders is that rare individual who has spent his 40 years in politics saying the same thing.  From Mayor of Burlington to the campaign trail for president, everyone knows where Bernie stands.   He is fighting for regular people of all colors and sexual orientation.  He has always been fighting for regular people of all colors and sexual orientation.  Period. 
In an era when the avatar in chief has been verified by The Washington Post fact checker to have made (as of December 10, 2019) 15,413 false or misleading statements, the important of trust of our president cannot be overestimated.

As of a year ago, The Hill rated Bernie Sanders America's most popular senator (as he has been many times in a row.  This means  that the people of Vermont loved him more than the people of any other state loved their U.S. Senator.  Anecdotally I can tell you that people I know who live in Vermont and are Republicans or not particularly progressive look at me like I'm crazy when I ask who they are supporting for president-- "Bernie, of course!" There is absolutely no question in their mind because they love and trust him as their senator, they will love and trust him as their president.  This is completely independent of whether they agree with him on the issues.

In Iowa, New Hampshire, California and elsewhere in the country, voters enthusiastically support Bernie Sanders not just because of the issues but because they are thirsty for a leader who they can trust.  Bernie combines the populist rhetoric and change that attracted many voters to the current incumbent with a proven track record of doing what he says he's going to do.  He distrusts the mainstream media, but he believes facts matter and he respects the rule of law.  He is as far from authoritarian as you can possibly get because he knows it will take a sea change to take back the government from the control of wealthy interests.

Being in the Question not the Answer

I have never been into affirmations, which is heresy where I come from.  In my spiritual communities, we say "change your thinking, change your life" (Ernest Holmes) and we affirm what we want to create or attract.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE affirmative prayer or spiritual mind treatment, where we speak as of what we are creating has already been created.  There is almost nothing I would rather do than sit do a spiritual mind treatment for anyone.  What I wouldn't give for some of our world leaders to ask me to change their minds, whoop!

But affirmations, per se, I've never taken to.  I was never sure why until someone who had studied Access Consciousness introduced me to questions instead of affirmations.  She said "questions create" and she gave me "how does it get even better than this?" and "what else is possible?"  to work with.

I now say these juicy questions aloud on a regular basis whenever I feel stuck or constricted in any way.  Any kinda stuck will do. Stuck in traffic.  Stuck in finances. Stuck in a relationship. Stuck in health.  The best part is that it's not up to me to answer these questions.  These are another writing or thinking assignment.  They are genuine questions to the universe or Great Spirit: what else is possible?  What can I be missing here?  In a very real sense these questions are prayers without a specific goal in mind.  They represent a wild abandonment to outcome.

My only job is to be curious, be in the question and pay attention.  The other day I coached one or two people to ask these questions aloud and within a day both had texted or called me with excited news about major breakthroughs in possibilities that presented themselves to them.  

They can work really fast too.  I remember one time when a friend called me stuck in parking lot type traffic saying she wouldn't be able to make it to the event I was counting on seeing her at.  She asked the questions and within 10 minutes she pulled into the event.  

I'm using both questions quite a lot right now about the Iran situation.  I let go of anything that I think I know about best outcome and open myself to this, What else is possible?  How does it get any better than this?

How not to talk to your kids about the assassination of world leaders

I remember back in the 90's when The Washington Post ran a little piece in its Style section on how to talk to your children about Pee-Wee Herman getting kicked off of TV for masturbating in a porn house.  "He went to a bad place and he may have opened his pants," was the magic phrase.

Well I can only assume Secretary of State Mike Pompeo was on a similar errand when I heard him on cable news several times to day inanely framing the assassination of Soleimani in these terms, "this was a bad guy; we took him off the playing field."  

Please don't insult the children of America, Mike.  Even small children know that if you take away one bad guy from a playing field, there will be other bad guys out there.  And they know that real war is not a game.

Here's two of my favorite underrated rom coms--what are yours?

Don't get me wrong, I can happily consume Sleepless in Seattle or Four Weddings and a Funeral with the best of 'em.  Those oldie but goodie rom coms have a gorgeous stars and, an engaging story, and lovely endings.   Then there's When Harry Met Sally which is, face it (like Harold and Maude), almost in a genre by itself.  It has seared itself into public imagination because it is so much better written, conceived and delivered than the average rom com.   Without going back to the era of Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn it is difficult to find a romantic comedy that is thrillingly written and endures.

Off the top of my head, I can think of two movies since 1990 that I thought were well-written memorable, and charming that don't usually make anyone's best of list.  Those are Crossing Delancey, and The Tao of Steve.   More people have heard of the former, so I'll start with the latter.  The Tao of Steve is one of those quirky small movies that just never left me.  In it, a lumpy school teacher named Dex has his own tried and true formula (The Tao of Steve--named for sexy Steves in movies) for seducing women.  He teaches it to other men.  I remember the most principle being "display mastery" of something, anything, even something really stupid.  It sounds dumb but it all works.

Crossing Delancey stars Amy Irving and, the completely underrated Peter Riegert.  It's a sweet comedy about how a regular guy doing nothing special right under our noses could be Mr. Right.  

I'm getting over a bout of stomach flu or I'd say more.  I just scrolled through this list Rotten Tomatoes best 150 Romantic Comedies of All Time and found my certainty on this topic waning.  It's a great list and contains not only some of the huge grossing pictures that I've loved like Jerry Maguire, Bridget Jones' Diary, Broadcast News, LA Story and Groundhog Day but other successful films that I forgot for a minute like Clueless, Waitress, or Valley Girl (my crush on the young hot Nicolas Cage in this pic basically changed my life as I met my husband shortly thereafter who looked an awful lot like him!)  

I was surprised to see Crossing Delancey pretty far up on the list and not surprised it skipped over The Tao of Steve.  What are your favorite forgotten Rom Coms? 

Under President Sanders This isn't Happening (the Bern Notice)

In an alternate timeline, Bernie Sanders is President of the United States right now and this week's assassination of a top Iranian official didn't happen.  The incumbent demagogue not only threw away the Iran peace deal but created this situation and many members of Congress, including Democrats who are running for president were complicit in the chain of events.  Bernie is the only candidate for president who has articulated, understood and voted for peace.  .I seem to have a stomach bug today so I'll let the facts below speak for themselves.  Watch Bernie's speech from yesterday, very moving and relevant.  Or walk through the facts and transcript below:

BERN NOTICE: 5 Facts Showing Bernie Is The Candidate Focused On Ending Endless War While others have been silent, Bernie has been trying to stop a war with Iran -- and he is the only candidate with the consistent, unwavering record opposing endless wars David Sirota Jan 3 Bern Notice is a production of the Bernie 2020 campaign. Please forward this on to your friends and tell them to subscribe. The views expressed here are solely of the bylined author. Bernie delivered remarks today in response to Donald Trump’s move to start a war with Iran. “I have consistently opposed this dangerous path to war with Iran,” he said. “But we need to do more than just stop the potential of a war. We need to firmly commit to ending the US military presence in the Middle East.” Click here to watch Bernie’s full speech, or read the full transcript of his speech below. Here are five important facts for context: 1. BERNIE WAS ATTACKED 4 YEARS AGO FOR OPPOSING WAR WITH IRAN: In 2016, Bernie pushed to diplomatically engage Iran and avoid war — and he was attacked for doing so. Politico reported that his opponents deployed former national security officials to berate him. 2. WHILE OTHERS WERE SILENT, BERNIE HAS BEEN CAMPAIGNING IN 2020 AGAINST WAR WITH IRAN: Bernie isn’t only now speaking up to oppose a war in Iran — he has been explicitly campaigning against a war for most of his 2020 campaign. In May, he delivered an address to try to prevent a war in Iran. He then published an oped in The Guardian entitled “We must stop the US from going to war with Iran.” He also launched a petition against a war with Iran and did television interviews pressing the case against a war in Iran. 3. BERNIE IS THE ONLY 2020 DEM WHO HAS OPPOSED ALL OF TRUMP’S MILITARY BUDGETS: There’s nothing more to add here — Bernie is the only one with this record. Period, end of discussion. 4. BERNIE IS THE ONLY LEADING CANDIDATE TALKING ABOUT ENDING THE ENTIRE ENDLESS WAR POLICY: Unlike other candidates, Bernie isn’t just raising questions about Trump’s push towards war. He is explicitly opposing a war with Iran — and beyond that, he is calling for a wholesale end to the overall policy of endless war. 5. BERNIE OPPOSED THE IRAQ WAR, WHILE BIDEN HELPED THE GOP LAUNCH IT: Bernie led the fight against the Iraq War, which helped destabilize the Middle East. By contrast, Joe Biden did not just vote for the Iraq War — he was the Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chairman who undermined Democratic opposition and played a pivotal role in helping Republican lawmakers authorize the Bush/Cheney Iraq War resolution. Bern after reading, Sirota FULL TEXT OF SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS’ SPEECH ON IRAN - 1/3/19 Thank you all for coming out. Today I want to talk about some of the very important issues facing our country, but before I get to some of them I wanted to take a moment to address the events in Iraq and the escalating crisis in the middle east.  Yesterday President Trump ordered the assassination of a top Iranian general, Qassem Suleimani, in Iraq, along with the leader of an Iraqi militia. This is a dangerous escalation that brings us closer to another disastrous war in the Middle East, which could cost countless lives and trillions more dollars and lead to even more deaths, more conflict, more displacement in that already highly volatile region of the world.  When I voted against the war in Iraq in 2002, I feared that it would result in greater destabilization in that country and in the entire region. At that time I warned about the deadly so-called unintended consequences of a unilateral invasion.  Today, 17 years later, that fear has unfortunately turned out to be a truth. United States has lost some 4500 brave men and women fighting in Iraq, tens of thousands have been wounded, hundreds of thousands of Iraqis have been killed, and trillions of dollars have been spent on that war.  The result: Today, today, we have massive unrest in that country. We have corruption in that country. We have terrible poverty in that country. And now, Iraqis want American troops out.  All of that suffering, all of that death, all of that huge expenditure of money, for what?  It gives me no pleasure to tell you that at this moment we face a similar crossroads, fraught with danger. Once again we must worry about unintended consequences, and the impact of unilateral decision-making. Let me repeat a warning I gave in 2002, during the debate over the war in Iraq, quote, this is what I said back then: War must be the last recourse in our Int’l Relations, and as a caring nation we must do everything we can to prevent the horrible suffering that a war will cause, end of quote.  As the former chair of the US Senate Committee on Veterans Affairs, I have seen close up the pain, the death, and the despair caused by war.  I’ve gone to too many funerals in my own state. I’ve talked to too many mothers who’ve lost their kids in war. I’ve talked to too many soldiers, men and women who’ve come home with PTSD, who have come home without arms and without legs. And I know that it is rarely the children of the billionaire class who face the agony of reckless foreign policy. It is the children of working families.  Let us not forget that when Trump took office, we had a nuclear agreement with Iran, negotiated by the Obama administration along with our closest allies. Countries from all over the world came together to negotiate that agreement, which put a lid on Iran’s nuclear program.  The wise course would have been to stick with that nuclear agreement, enforce it’s provisions, and use that diplomatic channel with Iran to address a wide range of concerns, including their support of terrorism.  Unfortunately, Trump ignored the advice of his own security officials, ignored the advice of his own security officials, and listened to right-wing extremists, some of whom were exactly the same people that got us into the war in Iraq in the first place.  As we all remember, Trump promised to end endless wars. Tragically, his actions now put us on the path to another war. Potentially one that could be even worse than before.  The truth as we all know is that the world today is a very dangerous place. We are seeing a movement all across the planet toward authoritarianism. We are seeing a growing arms race. And we are seeing nuclear weapons in the hands of unstable and hostile regimes.  I believe that in the midst of all of that, the role of the United States – difficult though it may be – must be to work with the international community to end conflicts, to end the threat of war, not to promote war as president Trump is doing. This is how the true power of the United States is shown. And that is how I will use American power as president. As I think we have seen for several years now, Trump makes decisions impulsively, impulsively without explanation. And in this case as in the past without any congressional consultation. I believe strongly that a key step in ending our endless wars is for Congress to reassert its constitutional authority over matters of war.  Our founding fathers had it right. And they gave the responsibility of war to congress. That is exactly where it must be placed. I find it incredible that at the same time as Trump is greatly expanding military spending – and I am proud to tell you that I have voted against all of Trump’s military budgets – At the same time he is spending tens of bilions of dollars more on the military, he is cutting back on the diplomatic capabilities of the State Dept to negotiate agreements around the world. And that to my mind is a very dangerous course of action. I have consistently opposed this dangerous path to war with Iran. But we need to do more than just stop the potential of a war. We need to firmly commit to ending the US military presence in the Middle East, in an orderly manner, not through a Tweet. And must understand that these wars have cost us so much in blood and in treasure.  We must end our involvement in the Saudi-led intervention in Yemen, which is now one of the worst humanitarian catastrophes on earth. And we must bring our troops home from Afghanistan. Instead of provoking more volatility in the region, the United States must use its power, its wealth, and its influence to bring the regional powers to the table to resolve conflicts.  Now let me conclude by simply saying this: At a time when we have over 500,000 americans who are homeless today, including 30,000 veterans. At a time when some 87 million of our people are either uninsured or underinsured, and 30,000 die each year because they don’t get to a doctor when they should. At a time when we face the urgent need to rebuild our crumbling infrastructure, to build the housing we desperately need, and to address the existential crisis of climate change, we as a nation must get our priorities right. We must invest in the needs of the American people, not spend trillions more on endless wars.