Should I join the movie bloggers?

I have been "discovered" in the blogosphere. That is to say, some program that sweeps around looking for movie bloggers has contacted me to ask me to join "movie bloggers.com" whereby my movie reviews would be co-posted on this site.

At first I was flattered--they like me, they really like me! Then I linked. The good news: the actual reviews posted there are not embarrassing company to keep. The bad news: the ads. 1 ad was for Venezuelan brides, another for bizarre sex aids, another for singletarians (unmarried Unitarians)--do I want to be associated with this?

Tonight, however, I notice that ads have changed to wireless surveillance cameras--an upgrade? Stay tuned...

Come Down with Clown Syndrome

My insanely funny and successful friend Russ Haan is at it again. This time, he's trying to spread Clown Syndrome across the land.

Don't check out the website and watch the hilarious uTube videos. If you do, you'll find yourself, like I did, ordering a clown kit, planning to videotape a sequence of yourself in a clown costume, going about your business.

Next time Bill is in a photo op with Arnold, he's wearing the clown suit.

Ask yourself this: what will you do as a clown?

Four Snouts up for When the Stars Fall

(:)(:)(:)(:) out of a possible five snouts up for the travelling production of Lacandona or When the Stars Fall which I saw at Cal State Sacramento billed as children's theater. For the most part, this amazing performance art of dance, song and unparalleled computer-graphic scenery went straight over the heads of the fifth graders I was chaperoning.

This production is a road show from Mexico City--possibly coming to a city near you soon, look for it. If you're Katie Laris, don't just look for it, see it. The two performers dance, sing and interact with a series of moving opaque screens which have computer graphics projected on them. Sometimes the performers actually seem to move the things on the screen, throwing things to each other that dart across the screens, arranging the sometimes abstract, sometimes representational objects.

The story is an environmental theme following a trip with mother and daughter through the rain forest, to find out why the stars are falling. Our performance was bilingual, heavily accented English, all songs in Spanish. Some performances are Spanish only. It made me wonder, will constructed, painted sets one day be a thing of the past replaced only by holographic computer projections...

Get real about the real estate market

Is it just me, or is ridiculous for people to talk about not selling because of the downturn in the real estate market? I'm talking about people who have owned property in California for years. This is just sillyness.

You don't hold on to your house, when you would otherwise want to sell it, because it's worth 2.8 times what you bought it for instead of 3 times what you bought it for.

I could understand holding off if you bought it for more than you could get for it, or if you bought it predominantly as an investment property and it's not worth your while to convert your investment, but if you bought it to live in and you've lived in it and it's more than doubled in value, in what sense is it a bad decision to sell it now?

The market could theoretically make your property quadruple in value too. Does that mean that you don't sell it at the peak of the market because it's only worth three times what you paid for it?

In 1992 we bought a beautiful row house 7 blocks from the U.S. Capitol for $222,000. In 1997, we sold it at a loss for $212,000 (which for us was the right decision because we needed to get our equity out and had enjoyed living there for 5 years prior to selling). Today, if the woman who bought the house from us for $212,000 in 1997 decided to sell she might only fetch $500,000 for it in the "slow" real estate market of Washington, DC, instead of the $600,000 she could have gotten last year; should she hold off?

Closely related, some of those who do put their houses on the market complain that the property doesn't sell. Why doesn't it sell? Because they they're asking too much for it. If they lowered the price, the homes would sell.

It never ceases to amaze me that people don't understand the fundamental principle of the real estate market: a property is only worth what people will pay for it, nothing more, nothing less. There is no independent concept of "what the property is worth."

3 Snouts up for Curse of the Golden Flower

(:)(:)(:) out of a possible 5 snouts for Curse of the Golden Flower now playing in art houses everywhere.

This film like many directed by Zhang Yimou has everything you would want in a big Chinese epic: Chow Yun Fat, Gong Li, glorious color and costume, insanely improbable fight scenes, jealousy, plots and most of all incestuous royalty.

There is more personal intrigue and less fighting than some of these things, so that held my interest a bit. Also the sheer scale and color is visually arresting, if, like the fighting completely improbable and distracting. Mostly, though, I was bored by it and had trouble caring. If you're going to see it, see it on the big screen. Better yet, stay home and watch the Sopranos on DVD.

Sigh. Should I perhaps stop seeing movies?

Three Snouts Up for Syriana on DVD

(:)(:)(:) out of a possible five snouts up for Syriana, executive produced by George Clooney. I was disappointed in this movie.

I expected a sort of freshness and honesty or something shocking or a sort of critical quality that was beyond what I had seen in other Hollywood international suspense movies--didn't get it.

I also expected a level of sophistication and complicated intrigue that went out of fashion a couple of decades ago. You know with the movies that you had to follow really closely to be able to know what was going on--also didn't get it.

What I got was a confusing, and largely not intriguing, set of interlocking plot lines, sprinkled with a heavy dose of didacticism. Rather than keeping me on my toes, no one was taking any chances that I wouldn't grok the interlocking interests of big business, oil, U.S. Government and middle east princes--thanks for the education, Clooney.

I'm sure there are people who learned things about the lengths to which the US government might go to protect American business interests, but I wasn't really one of them.

I'm sure there are people who cared whether the middle eastern princes lived or died, and who succeeded whom, but I wasn't really one of them.

I'm sure there are people who understood why we had to learn so much about the Clooney character's wife and son, the missing missle, Matt Damon's travails (not to mention the virginal pakistani boys) only to have all this information rendered largely if not completely irrelevent in the last few minutes of the film, but I wasn't one of them.

Because of my love for George Clooney, from his politics to the tilt of his head (my neighbor maintains that there is a national network of straight men that are "queer for Clooney"), and an inexplicable Matt Damon fetish, I am granting this DVD one more snout than it may deserve.

Otherwise, I might suggest that you wait for it to come out on toilet paper.

3 Snouts Up for "Freedom Writers"

(:)(:)(:) out of a possible 5 snouts up for Freedom Writers starring Hilary Swank and directed by Richard LaGravanese playing in movie theaters everywhere now.

This is one of those films that is driven entirely by narrative--a great story to tell. It's well-acted and reasonably well-written. Beyond that, it has little to offer as a movie. It's predictable as hell. It seems to have had the budget of an ABC after school special (although Hilary Swank executive produced or I'm guessing it wouldn't have gotten made, and it obviously had a decent promotional budget).

Nonetheless, I am such a sucker for the spunky dedicated school teacher who takes a bunch of ne'er do well kids and inspires them story. And this story, being true, and being told in a way that genuinely makes you truly care about these kids, is really worth seeing.

I cried...several times...something I rarely do in movies (but often in weddings).

Mundane prediction

Someday when newspapers and newsprint are obsolete, someone will manufacture wrapping paper made to look like retro newspaper wrapping paper.

Unclear on the Concept

Well, my "raw" posting the other day occasioned a lot of concern. And while I am grateful for everyone's thoughts. I feel the need to explain. I intend to write on my blog at least 5 days a week, preferably every day. I never promised that the content wouldn't ever reflect my true feelings. So, on days that I'm feeling sad (and that's all it was, just sad, but in a raw, skin stripped off kind of sad), I'll write about it.

Today I'm not sad. Today I'm happy and my skin is on. I'm also still laughing over last night's daily show with phone-in guests: Leonard Nimoy and George Takei--hilarious!

A Reckoning Deferred?

Thanks to the many friends who called and emailed me love and concern after my raw posting yesterday--truly lovely to know that people out there care--I'm doing better today principally by looking at the many things for which I have to be grateful.

Nothing to distract from one's own misery like focussing on world affairs. One friend, Steve Engelmann, directed me to this commentary from the editors of Middle East Report in Middle East Report Online. It's better than anything I've read in terms of looking at the congressional Democrats' relatively weak reaction to Bush's outrageous troop increase proposal.

No pain, no gain?

Today I am struggling, walking around without skin, raw nerve-endings exposed to the world. The good news is that this is what I signed up for. I have consciously called forth seeing myself clearly. Some days this is what it looks like. The bad news is this is what I signed up for--what could I have been thinking? When I will cease to struggle against the sides of the cocoon? When will my wings by fully formed? Does it really have to be this hard? Didn't someone once ask me, "would it be okay if life got easier?" Yes!!!!!!!!

Dina's Diary--a breast cancer survivor

My friend Dina Howard survived a harrowing year of breast cancer last year. She documented much of it on sophisticated audio equipment borrowed from our local public radio station. The station ended up boiling it down to a powerful hour which they broadcast called "Dina's Diary."

You can hear it by clicking on the above link and clicking on Dina's face. I cannot believe the courage she had to record what was going on for her on some of her very worst days. I can barely function on my worst days and I'm not being poisoned, cut and burned.

Unconventional Mango

Today, at Whole Foods, I noticed a sign outside advertising "conventional mangos." I toyed with asking where they keep the unconventional mangos. Wouldn't that be frightening?

I already have enough trouble with mangos, their overly fragrant selves covered with an inedible skin to which my friend Katie is deadly allergic.

How the heck are you supposed to eat them anyway? Someone is always answering this question for me, snatching a mango out of our fruit bowl and deftly scoring it in such a way that it falls into a bowl in neat cubes ready to be consumed as mango sal-sa.

But when I work with mango, it starts with a crude peeling, followed by liberating random, unappealing chunks of slimey fruit and wasting half of it. Thankfully my kids slurp it up anyway, loving every morsel.

So I could never dare ask for an unconventional mango.

I'm this close already to being banned from various health food stores for walking up to managers and asking where they keep the bulk organic free range diet coke.

The Governor's got Weintraub all to himself

In yesterday's Sacramento Bee, Dan Weintraub got it right when he wrote "the Governor's got the political center all to himself." The piece pointed out important truths often forgotten in the California legislature, namely that while registered Republicans in California (i.e., real people) overwhelmingly support such issues as protecting the environment and raising the minimum wage, the corporately-funded Republicans in the legislature uniformly don't. Most Democrats stay to the left.

The Governor then, whose inaugural speech called for "post-partisanship," is alone among California state elected officials in staking out the territory of the political middle.

The only thing that makes it less lonely for him is Weintraub, who has slavishly clung to the idea of this Governor as a centrist even when the Governor himself temporarily strayed. In many respects, Weintraub has been the Governor's most steadfast supporter, putting Maria to shame.

One Snout Up for Troy on DVD

(:) out of a possible five snouts for Troy on DVD. For some reason something I read or heard made me think that this might actually be a good or at least enjoyable flick (I initially wrote "film" but that ain't it). So, despite having avoided His Pittness for years (as far as I'm concerned, it's all been downhill since the ass shots in Thelma & Louise), I gave it a try.

Troy has been backing up my Netflix queue since early December when Bill and I stomached an hour of it and then couldn't go further. I was all for mailing it back but thought that Bill might watch the rest. Tonight we read and answered our email while the rest of it played to the finish. To detail why it is bad would give it more than its due.

Troy's only possible redemption, and even this is a stretch, is as a college drinking game where you get to throw back a shot each time someone says something like "the name Achilles will live on through the ages," or "long after you are gone, the battle of Troy will live on." There's no question one would get good and drunk playing it, but would you ever get sloshed enough to enjoy the tedium of the endless battles and uninspiring love scenes it serves up?

Not possible. Long after the battle of Troy has been forgotten, the movie Troy will live on on the list of worst movies ever watched by Snichols.

Four Snouts up for The History Boys

I proudly join the North American Man Boy Love Association in giving (:)(:)(:)(:) out of a possible five snouts up for The History Boys, a film version of a successful British play.

The film, set in 1983 (with the soundtrack to prove it) focusses on an uncommonly bright and gorgeous group of working class boys who have aced their A levels and are madly prepping for their essay/interviews for top universities. Their odd brilliant teachers, who look as if they'd be more at home at the Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry, work hard to teach the boys what they'll need to know to gain acceptance at Oxbridge.

The film is well-written, sweetly acted and entirely believable. If you're in the mood for a sweet and disarmingly homoerotic look at pedophilia, poetry and prose, Bob's your uncle (or, more accurately, Bob's your 12th grade history teacher), The History Boys is just the thing, innit?

Let's face it, NAMBLA would give it five snouts.

Three Snouts Up for Outsourced

(:)(:)(:) out of a possible five for the new movie Outsourced starring a promising Josh Hamilton (and delightful co-star Ayesha Dharker) and directed by John Jeffcoat of Seattle. The movie is about a man who is obliged to go to India to train his own replacement to manage a call center selling cheap Americana objects, in the process, blah blah blah blah. I saw it tonight at the opening night of the 2007 Palm Springs film festival.

It's entertaining, well-acted, visually fun and humorous, but it's an utterly predictable plot. Bill thinks the film may do very well precisely because it's formulaic yet set in India--somewhat ironic that the film clearly outsources most of its production efforts to get made. Despite the implication of the title and subject matter, the film has no real social message to convey.

I'd recommend it for a family-friendly fun film that feels as if you're being adventuresome by watching it, when you really aren't.

Oh to be easy in the harness

Driving with a decaf soy latte through the fuchsia orange sunrise of Palm Springs brought me this gem at my morning meeting:

"You have freedom when you're easy in the harness" said Robert Frost

This week I have felt uneasy in my harness. I have longed for different constraints, trying on imaginary yokes of different colors and styles. So for none of them have fit as well; I have chafed at their possibilities.

So today I'll stay in this harness and just be happy that I have a stable to which I can return and be fed.

Did we really need an additional federal holiday today?

Don't get me wrong, I revere Gerald Ford as much as the next person (I'm in Palm Springs now for crying out loud, what more can I do to show my respect?), but did we really need Congress to declare an additional random federal holiday today? I needed to go to the post office today is the main reason I noticed this, but here's the thing:

There wasn't a special federal holiday for Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon or Lyndon Johnson. Will there be one for Jimmy Carter, George I or Bill Clinton? Probably. Now that it's been done once, everyone will read this blog and clamor for it. Oh well.

No resolutions for me

I realized the other day: another new year is upon me, and I don't have a big long list of improvements to resolve to implement. Why? Because every of day of my life is fucking new year's day.

I don't get it Sara, are bitter about this, or pleased? Are you bragging, or whining?

Answer: yes.

I am a pleasantly bitter whine, with just a hint of bragadocio.

Every day, for over a year and half, I have gotten up each morning and resolved to be open to what the world is coaching me to do. And then, and this is the hardest part, to do it.

This has meant starting every day by praying, meditating, writing, reading, exercising, and working diligently for thinner thighs. Then it's morning again and I start over.

So why should today be any different?