Thursday, January 09, 2020

Tips for How to Make Your Choices, Small or Large

A free abundant life comes with many many choices, everything from whether to call yourself vegan, plant-based or reducetarian to what job to accept and where to live can be frought if you don't have a system for making those choices.  I have never perceived myself as having trouble making decisions.  When I was much younger I unconsciously arranged things so that events seem to be making my choices rather than I.  I would sell my qualities to multiple prospective employers and lovers simultaneously without putting much thought into which I actually wanted.  I left them to sort out whether they wanted me and then if I still had a choice to make, I awkwardly made it (or didn't, which could be even more awkward).


Since I started consciously (instead of unconsciously) creating my experience I have evolved some methods for deciding what comes next for me.  Here are some of the ones I use (none of which are original to me.  I borrowed them all from others, many of them from one particular person).  Perhaps I'll flesh one or two out more in subsequent posts.  Feel free to ask me questions:


  1. These days I try to concentrate on a feeling that I want to have in a given area rather than what will deliver that feeling.
  2. Then I spend time each day sitting and imagining what that feeling is that I want, spending time feeling it right now instead of waiting for something to change to give it to me.
  3. When a choice comes up, I'll put my hand on my chest and I'll feel into it.  What does that choice feel like?  If it matches the feeling I want to have, I might choose it even if I don't understand why or how it will lead me in the direction.
  4. If I have trouble dialing into the feeling of it, I sometimes picture a candle flame burning brightly in my chest.  When I picture the decision I look at the candle flame.  Does the idea of making that choice make the flame burn brighter and stronger?  or does it make it flicker or even blow out?
  5. Sometimes I tear up a bunch of pieces of paper and write on the back of each one a choice I am considered and them turn them over and shuffle them up.  I spread them out on the floor and I put my hand over each one and feel how it is.  Does it feel light and spacious? that's a yes.  or does it feel heavy and stuck? that's a no.
  6. I could definitely write a whole post on how heavy and stuck used to be something I would gravitate to while I now run from it.

Action is not that important, but choosing is.  Often it matters less what I choose than that I choose.


What's your method of making decisions?  

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