Thursday, January 31, 2013

Run to the Rockwell Exhibit at the Crocker--last 3 days!


(:)(:)(:)(:)(:) for American Chronicles: The Art of Norman Rockwell at the Crocker Art Museum, Sacramento.    I waited until late in the run to see this.  I  had an intuition I would like it, but I didn't know why.  I kept thinking to myself, is there really anything to this iconic American essentially commercial artist?  But then I thought, I've never actually seen a Norman Rockwell in the flesh.

It helped that I sat next to a docent for the exhibit in the cafe and she talked my ear off about the exhibit.   Prior to the ear-removal, I was not prepared for the raw power of his genius--so many slices of American life captured--incredible emotional range and depth including part of a fascinating series on murder in the South during the civil rights era.

See it--although this is a rare time when this weekend busloads of people from the bay area will be coming THIS way to see art instead of the other way around.  See it today or tomorrow, if possible.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Listen to your body (it's smarter than you are)


They say we teach what we need to learn.  After 2 or 3 years of thinking about starting a support group for chronically ill people, I finally start one--when?  When I'm in the middle of a longterm illness of course.  I'm on the second round of 30 days of sick leave from work (in other words I've been off work a little over 30 days) on doctor's orders.

I have been extremely low energy off and on since October to the point where I haven't been able to work without exhaustion.  Some days i think, this is nonsense, I'm fine and then return to my old level of activity (minus work)--woah, by the end of the day I'm in bed by 7pm unable to string together sentences.

So now I'm preparing to introduce other people to what I've learned about listening to my body, hearing what it was to say and following its direction.  And what do I know about it?  If I'm so good at listening to my body, how come I'm on leave?

Actually, I'm glad I asked.  That's why I'm on leave.  I'm on leave because I listened to my body and to my doctor and this is what I needed to get well.  Now I just need to trust and keep listening.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

I create therefore I can


I fell asleep last night with what felt like an insight on the relationship between creativity and ability to manifest the life you want.  Let's see if it can withstand the scrutiny of the light of day.  It's this:  the act of creativity is literally to create something from nothing.   Maybe I'm staring at a blank page or canvass, holding a guitar, sitting at a keyboard with no idea of what I'm going to write, paint or play.  Suddenly, something comes.  Out of "nowhere," it comes.  And I let it come.  I seize it (or it seizes me) and soon I have created a blog post, a book, a painting, a song.

This is my actual experience.  I fancy myself a writer, so not surprisingly I've had the experience with writing.  But the lesson is perhaps even more powerful when experimenting with artistic media in which I don't believe I have talent or ability.   I practically flunked kindergarten art yet I have sat in front of a blank canvass and been led to create a painting that I love.   Recently I was in a short songwriting workshop and I wrote a song out of nothing--I had never done that before (in all my years of singing and fooling around with satirical lyrics, I'd never written a song from scratch).

Now that experience of having created is a real, felt experience.  What could bolster my confidence so much as knowing that out of seemingly nothing, there is a place with me that connects with inspiration?  To repeat this experience is to build-up a sense of security more powerful than any other--out of nothing comes something--the nothingness is illusory.


Take this knowledge to the world of creating relationships, jobs and housing (and combine it with the miracle of the internet) to see its full application.  Because I've faced the blank paper and something has always come, I now trust that it will.  In the same way, I can truly trust that although I don't know where the right house, the right job or the right husband will come from, they exist and they will manifest.  And in my case, thank you, God.  They already have.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

3 Snouts up for My Brother is an Only Child on Netflix


(:)(:)(:) for My Brother is an Only Child, an Italian film, 2007, on Netflix DVD.  Despite charming beautiful actors and an engaging plot line (two 1960s era brothers in southern Italy love to hate and hate to love each other as one is a fascist and one is a communist), this film falls short.

I'm in a phase right now where I'm letting my husband's Netflix queue introduce me to a number of foreign films that he has researched and been interested in seeing--he thinks this one entered the list circa 2007 and has only just now wormed its way to the top.  This results in zero expectations--my brother's what? what's it called again?  what country is it from? -- but also a high level of hit or miss-ness.   I don't like mainstream Hollywood that much any more (with exceptions) and find that I really do enjoy foreign language films (for one thing the need to read subtitles force me to set down my laptop and actually pay attention to the movie) but I'm actually beginning to believe that foreigners have a higher tolerance for nothing happening than this slighly ADD American.

This is like the 3rd movie in a row we've seen with good actors, good writing, nice setting and cinematography but where relatively little happens.  Actually, this one had the closest to a plot of the latter bunch.  I think that non-Americans have a much higher tolerance for unhappy endings and not tying up loose ends.

This one could be seen just to watch the hunky Italian boys kiss and moon over gorgeous Italian girls.  Special bonus points for the scene with an all-Communist orchestra rendition of Beethoven's Ode to Joy with special new "red" lyrics.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Part 1: Why I LOVE being tail end of the baby boom


I was just reminded this morning how much I benefit from being tail end of the baby boom.  Sure, reasonable mind can differ about what is the tail end.  I was born in 1961--if you look at the chart above you can see that the birthrate is starting to drop precipitously around then--hence tail end.

But the statistics aren't the money part.  The money part is that being born at the tail end of the baby boom means that about 10 years ahead of me, everything gets changed every minute and I don't have to change it or go through all the sturm und drang but I get to benefit from it.  Boom baby boom.

Some might say, but yeah, you also missed the chance to be a young adult in the summer of love.  Yes, I did.  In the summer of love I was pulled out of third grade and put in the Exploring Family School--a weird place on the edge of San Diego where kids K-12 did "school without walls" (modeled on something called Summerhill in England--or was it Stonehenge, I forget).  This entailed running around building forts and showing each other our private parts behind bushes.  I preferred sitting inside the barn reading algebra textbooks.


But I digress.  The boomers boomed through ahead of me dragging civil rights, sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll with them.  I got to peacefully exercise my right to sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll without being arrested or sleeping in a park or having my parents disown me.  If my teenagers are reading this, know that I'm speaking hyperbolically of course.  By sex I mean kissing.  By drugs I mean Earl Grey Tea.

to be continued...


Monday, January 21, 2013

Day 40: 40 Day Abundance Meditations--Look to your inner Obama



 I keep my mind and thoughts off “this world” and I place my entire focus on God within as the only cause of my prosperity.  I acknowledge the Inner Presence as the only activity in my financial affairs, as the substance of all things visible.  I place my faith in the Principle of Abundance in action within me.”*

I'm not going to lie, I'm thrilled that this is the fortieth, hence last, day of the Abundance Meditations.  I'd like to pretend that I planned it end on Martin Luther King and Inaugural Day (and what was to be the last day of my leave), but it's all coincidence.  I liked the President's Inaugural address much better than the first address; it was an unabashedly progressive speech and it put gay rights on a par with all the other struggles for civil rights in American history.  It called for "collective action" and focussed on the "we" instead of the "me."  As my husband said, "there is nothing for the conservatives to like about this speech."  That doesn't bother me.

But I digress--this meditation asks me to turn my thoughts away from "this world" and focus within.   Even a passionate political heart can take this advice to the bank.  It doesn't mean that I don't care about the world or have an effect on it.  It means that when I go within, I go where the real power is. 

*If you are just joining our show in progress, meditate on this for 15 minutes today.  You can start the meditations any day, don't worry about the day it says it is, but then do it for 40 days.  At any time you can look ahead or behind and see how it works by going to this link:  How to do the 40 day Meditation Program

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Day 39: 40 Day Abundance Meditations--4 Snouts up for Life of Pi!


When I am aware of the God-Self within me as my total fulfillment, I am totally fulfilled.  I am now aware of this Truth, I have found the secret of life, and I relax in the knowledge that the Activity of Divine Abundance is eternally operating in my life.  I simply have to be aware of the flow, the radiation, of that Creative Energy, which is continuously, easily and effortlessly pouring forth from my Divine Consciousness.  I am now aware.  I am now in the flow.*

(:)(:)(:)(:) for Life of Pi in 3D still in movie theaters everywhere due to Academy Award nominations.  I have to confess that I was hoping that today's abundance meditation would track with what I got out of Life of Pi and I wasn't disappointed.  Life of Pi, an explicitly spiritual experience (since the adult Pi tells the novelist to whom he's telling his story that it would make him believe in God), is really one long beautiful abundance meditation.

Since most of you have probably seen it by now (or at least those of you who want to), I'm not giving anything away to say that it's about a boy trapped in a boat with a CGI bengal tiger named Richard Parker for 221 days at sea.  Well, he doesn't know it's computer-generated imagery.  He think it's real.  And thanks to the magic of Hollywood and the beautiful direction of Ang Lee so do we.

The signal narrative moment in the film is when Pi writes in his journal that without the tiger he never could have survived:  my fear kept me sharp and keeping Richard Parker alive gave my life purpose.   Like Jonah and so many other mythical heroes before Pi, only when he stops fighting and feeding his frenemy and surrenders completely to God is he saved.  


His salvation comes in the form of incredible abundance.  He washes up on the shore of an amazing island with thousands of meerkats, abundant fresh water and delicious edible roots.  He and Richard Parker are replenished here until Pi learns that if he stays on the island long enough, it will eat him.  I could come up with some tortured explanation of how God works this way.  The only thing that springs to mind quickly is that we have to keep moving.  God always keeps us alive for us to fulfill our divine purpose and unless our purpose is to be eaten by an island, sometimes we have to be replenished and move on (no matter how much fear we might have).

I guess I'll relate that to my own situation.  I am currently on sick leave from my job as a high-powered union lobbyist.  The meerkats and fresh water on this island come in the form of full pay for no work.  I can stop here until I'm well but then if I want to survive, I'll need to move on.

*If you are just joining our show in progress, meditate on this for 15 minutes today.  You can start the meditations any day, don't worry about the day it says it is, but then do it for 40 days.  At any time you can look ahead or behind and see how it works by going to this link:  How to do the 40 day Meditation Program

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Day 38: 40 Day Abundance Meditations--Do something different


 My consciousness of the Spirit within me as my unlimited Source is the Divine Power to restore the years the locusts have eaten, to make all things new, to lift me up to the High Road of abundant prosperity.  This awareness, understanding and knowledge of Spirit appears as every visible form and experience that I could possibly desire.*

All things new--what does that really mean?  To me it means that I only have this one minute, this one day.  It may be Saturday, January 19th, 2013.  It may be my son's 18th birthday (happy birthday, Nick!).  It may be the 38th day of a 40 day abundance meditation series.  It is certainly today.  It is certainly now.  This is the only time I have and I have the choice today to begin again and be new.  

We acknowledge that and celebrate it on New Year's Day and create resolutions for all sorts of ways we're going to change.  By January 19th, we may have let go of a number of our resolutions.   The truth is that I can turn on a dime and starting today, I can choose to do things differently for myself.  I can let go of habits that weren't serving me (how about just one?) and I can embrace habits that serve (again, just one?) and make all things new.


I heard an interview with Deepak Chopra on NPR the other day where he suggested just doing one thing differently than usually do to challenge your brain.  If you always buckle your belt on the left, turn it around and buckle it on the right.  If you always take a given route to work in your car, drive a different way (or better yet, bike or take a bus to work).  Do something different (and new) today.

*If you are just joining our show in progress, meditate on this for 15 minutes today.  You can start the meditations any day, don't worry about the day it says it is, but then do it for 40 days.  At any time you can look ahead or behind and see how it works by going to this link:  How to do the 40 day Meditation Program

Friday, January 18, 2013

Day 37: 40 Day Abundance Meditations--be confident in letting go!


The Divine Consciousness that I am is forever expressing its true nature of Abundance.  This is its responsibility, not mine.  My only responsibility is to be aware of this Truth.  Therefore, I am totally confident in letting go and letting God appear as the abundant all-sufficiency in my life and affairs.*


What is striking me today is the word "confidence."  I have often been known I should let go and let God.  I have sometimes been willing to do so.  And sometimes I have even done it, but have I been confident--rarely.  

Well, I take that back, there are areas where I AM confident.  I am always clear that for every problem there is a solution.  I am clear that I often don't know what the solution is.  And I am clear that the solution will come.  I have a LOT of trust in the creative process because I have noticed in years of writing term papers, meeting deadlines, and paying bills that even when I have no idea where the paper, the energy, the idea or the money is going to come from, it does come and it generally comes on time.

Yet right now, while I'm on leave from work due to debilitating energy depletion, I am super frustrated by not knowing when I'm going to be well, what I can do and what I can't do.  I want to try to control things so that I can feel ok and I have no control whatsoever--I know that there will be answers and things will resolve, but I feel like I lack the confidence to simply let go.  Well, I guess I have to do it anyway.

*If you are just joining our show in progress, meditate on this for 15 minutes today.  You can start the meditations any day, don't worry about the day it says it is, but then do it for 40 days.  At any time you can look ahead or behind and see how it works by going to this link:  How to do the 40 day Meditation Program